When Punk was king I bought a ukulele
No one played one, they're not like today
Now like a bellend or a blog on FaceTweet
Every dick has got one so they say
I played it with that old five finger shuffle
Learned from manipulation of my dong
When I stood up before a crowd
They all shouted right out loud
Which gave me inspiration for a song
And no one can resist a swift one off the wrist
That's when I heard everybody say
Hey!
If you need a reason to be cheerful
Pluck, pluck, pluck your plucking cares away
Hey!
And put some ukulele in your day
I put a record out, the Beeb they banned it
They said it was injurious to health
Mrs Mary Whitehouse went bananas
There's a joke in there, just make it up yourself
But bishop bashing's always been in fashion
So it went special
What's the point of burning up the hip parade?
And now there's wankers worse than me in Parliament
And on TV, so get a grip and do not be dismayed
It's time to take a stand, give yourself a hand
And that's when you'll hear everybody say
Hey!
If you need a reason to be cheerful
Pluck, pluck, pluck your plucking cares away




And put some ukulele in your day.