The problems of life are not as I thought, nor are they as I imagined. I'd rather not live. The problems of life are not as I thought, nor are they as I imagined. I'd rather not live. My mother loves me when I cry, I can respond to her with a smile, but she never understands me. The problems of life are not as I thought, nor are they as I imagined. I'd rather not live. The problems of life are not as I thought, nor are they as I imagined. I'd rather not live. Problems of life again with the pressure, depression. God, give me blessing. I can't find the path, I can't find the exit. Three points in my hand because Luka is my life. My crazy life getting crazier and crazier. Good times in the past getting hazier and hazier. Nowadays it seems no matter what I do it's wrong. Holding it inside till I blow like a bomb. It's on, god damn I'm going crazy. Gained a little fame to my name but Ruka still playing me. Top of all that, got bills to be paid. Trying to stay out of jail, I got a son to be raised. I'm just a nigga when I die, I'm trying to write rhymes for a dollar. Thinking it's time to paint this very deep, can I holler? Working my fingers to the bone everyday, looking up above god. There's gotta be a better way. A brown man trying to make an honest best. So to church I never go, told me man that's a simple lesson. Suicide's an everyday thought in my mind. But to think it's not the truth. I know I gotta stay alive. Me have these thoughts always worried. Wonder what happened to that little chavalito that she carried. Well I grew up and problemas got a grip, I'm trying to stand firm. And I'm hoping that I don't slip. Looking to the future, the future's looking ***. Looking to the past, the past brings pain. So I look to the heavens, help me through the present. My nine millimeter heart is 187. I'm stressed out from the bills and problems that I have. Trying to pinpoint where I went wrong. I'm looking back over my shoulder. Steadily getting older, not Irish, never lucky. So *** a 40 clover, I'm down for my brown. Till they put me in the ground. 6BD, eternal sleep. But right now that ain't the sound. Reality is pain and so much ***ing agony. My dad has hooked on cane. Understanding my insanity from the day I was born. Till the day that I died. Now the day goes by that I don't break and cry. Down on my knees, tears running down my cheeks. Please god, please help me through another week. If I die before I get to see my son as a man. Let him know about me. God, he understands. Let him know about me.