I think my husband and I have a huge unspoken understanding
between each other, because he's half Filipino
and half Japanese, and I'm half Chinese and half Vietnamese.
So we're both half fancy Asian.
And half jungle Asian.
Yeah.
You guys know the difference.
The fancy Asians are the Chinese, the Japanese.
They get to do fancy things like host Olympics.
Jungle Asians host diseases.
It's different.
But he grew up on the East Coast,
going to private school, playing lacrosse,
you know, learning Latin and playing chess and rugby.
He grew up like Filipino Carlton, okay?
So he didn't know anything about Vietnamese people
until he met me.
And on one of our first dates,
he took me to this restaurant on the west side of Los Angeles
called Pho Show.
He was like, it's authentic Vietnamese.
I read about it on Yelp.
I was like, it's not authentic, okay?
You can tell first and foremost by the name
because it don't got a number in it.
Second of all,
you could tell by the bathroom if it was legit the bathroom would double as a supply closet
when i pee i need to see 10 gallons of bleach
an atm machine and a grandma with glaucoma napping in the corner
and the wait staff here is too nice we need to leave this restaurant deaf and emotionally abused
i grew up going to private school too him and i are both total like private school asians we both
are big hippies too we like to backpack through southeast asia we like to do yoga we do ayahuasca
ceremonies we do silent meditation retreats that's right we pay eight hundred dollars
to shut up for a weekend we do * like that uh we eat gluten-free
we eat gluten-free we eat gluten-free we eat gluten-free we eat gluten-free
which means we eat all that bread that tastes like free-range chewbacca
we eat that lesbian bread that's like a thousand percent of your daily fiber
and 20 spoken word poetry
when you eat it you queef a shitty poem about
supporting caitlyn jenner or whatever
and so it's funny right because he's asian too
but sometimes all of this hippie dippy we do makes me feel like we are white
people doing an impression of asian people like we have these chinese scrolls up on the wall
and neither of us know what the they mean
they're like oh that seems to be like maybe even just thinking about us is weird
go very well with our buddha piggy bank from pier one imports that seems to be providing some good
fushui for the house