The son of god once showed his face

upon my tortilla

since that day, my faith's renewed

he won't let me faulter

he guides me down a golden path

he shields me from sin

without the spirit life's meaningless

I'll go the distance with him

I've been to the point of no return

suggestive poster on my wall

I'd participate in gluttony

greed and wanton lust

I cheated on my S.A.T.'s

once I double parked

if you asked then for a cigarrette

there was a good chance I had one

there was a good chance that I had one

oh yeah, there's a chance that I had one

oh yeah, there's a chance that I had one

yeah. I'd sloth around in my underwears

just watching tv

my former friends they stay out late

they drink and carry on (that's wrong)

they go on dates with party girls

and stay in cheap motels

I stay home and try to better myself

by burning science books

once I tried to masturbate

and finger my own ass

when I marry I'll procreate

hands off myself till then

christmas, easter, they're ok

but the meaning has been lost

remember friend it wasn't santa

oh yeah, it wasn't santa

oh yeah, it wasn't santa

oh yeah. I serve the lord at the telethon

ready to man the phones

for him I'll always vote pro-life

those critics should be bombed

power up's here to lead the flock

lead to salvation (army)

jesus christ superstar

is my favorite song