Well, I've already had two beers

I'm ready for the broom

Please, Missus Henry, won't you

Take me to my room?

I'm a good ol' boy

But I've been sniffin' too many eggs

Talkin' to too many people

Drinkin' too many kegs

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please

I'm down on my knees

An' I ain't got a dime

Well, I'm groanin' in a hallway

Pretty soon I'll be mad

Please, Missus Henry, won't you

Take me to your dad?

I can drink like a fish

I can crawl like a snake

I can bite like a turkey

I can slam like a drake

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please

Please, Missus Henry, missus Henry, please

I'm down on my knees

An' I ain't got a dime

Now, don't crowd me, lady

Or I'll fill up your shoe

I'm a sweet bourbon daddy

An' tonight I am blue

I'm a thousand years old

And I'm a generous bomb

I'm t-boned and punctured

But I'm known to be calm

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please

Please, missus henry, missus henry, please

I'm down on my knees

An' I ain't got a dime

Now, I'm startin' to drain

My stool's gonna squeak

If I walk too much farther

My crane's gonna leak

Look, Missus Henry

There's only so much I can do

Why don't you look my way

An' pump me a few?

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please

Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry, please

I'm down on my knees

An' I ain't got a dime