One, two, three, Santa.
Oh, come on!
Dad.
It's Christmas Eve, you're staying up till midnight
The older one's asleep, but brother's not tired
Dad was wrapping gifts throughout the night
Cause Santa's late
He snoozed the alarm, got drunk with the elves again
And Rudolph's party friends
Coffee machine that Nathan never needed
It's not the dress that Sally Ann had wanted
He said decorations come earlier each year
But if that were true
But now they're gone
They'd be going up in April or May
Or June or July
And underneath
A plastic mistletoe
Grandpa lies asleep
His teeth hanging loose
Selection box
Of all the fun sizes
Stuck behind the sofa
Yeah
It's stuck behind the sofa
Cakes and soaps and candles with free shipping
Table angels dizzy, they just keep spinning
Jesus, oh, will wash away your sins
A gift for him
Steak, dinner, Prosecco, football club, stadium tour
For daddy and a friend
And just behind
The way she made a school
A shadow wasted too
Screeping down the hall
Selection box
Of all the fun sizes
Stuck behind the sofa
It's stuck behind the sofa
Steak, dinner, Prosecco, football club, stadium tour
A gift for him
And underneath
Underneath the plastic mistletoe
Grandpa lies asleep, his teeth hanging loose
Selection thoughts of all the fun sizes
He's stuck behind the sofa
He's stuck behind the sofa
He's stuck behind the sofa
He's stuck behind the sofa