Well, I knew I had to have her, and I sent off in the mail, when I saw her picture in
that magazine.
And when the postman brought her, I thrilled when I blew up, the prettiest plastic girl
you've ever seen.
Well I called my new girl Wendy, and Wendy blew my mind, cause no one ever had her before
me.
And girls like that are getting awful hard to find, so I plan to keep her till eternity.
Oh she's a life-size, wife-size, full-blown, blow-up plastic girl, and ain't nothin' missin'.
And she's more than just a friend, and she never has a headache, or a bad breath, when
we're kissin'.
And she's there when you need her, and she doesn't have a dog.
And her skin's as smooth as a pearl, she's a life-size, wife-size, full-blown, blow-up
plastic girl.
Now I didn't tell nobody, except my best friend Earl, cause you can't trust just anyone, you
see.
And every night when I came home all tired from makin' pizza, Wendy would be waitin'
there for me.
And she always left me breathless, every time I blew her up, all the way that she filled
out that see-through gown.
And my ego got inflated, every time that she did, cause I felt sure she needed me around.
Oh she's a life-size, wife-size, full-blown, blow-up plastic girl, and ain't nothin' missin'.
And she's more than just a friend, and she never has a headache, or a bad breath, when
we're kissin'.
And she's there when you need her, and she doesn't have a dog.
And her skin's as smooth as a pearl, she's a life-size, wife-size, full-blown, blow-up
plastic girl.
One night I came home anxious, with Wendy on my mind, and it broke my heart in two when
I walked in, and found the one I always thought would always be just mine, layin' there with
Earl, my best friend.
Well I never dreamed that Wendy would be the cheatin' kind, and I didn't think that Earl
would let me down.
But you don't know what can happen, in these mixed-up times, cause there sure are lots
of weirdos runnin' round.
Oh she's a life-size, wife-size, full-blown, blow-up plastic girl, and I'm gonna miss her,
cause she was more than just a friend, and she never had a headache, or a bad breath,
when I would kiss her.
But a man must have his pride, so I can't take her back now, not after catchin' her
in Earl, oh my life-size, wife-size, full-blown, blow-up plastic girl.
Life-size, wife-size, full-blown, blow-up plastic girl.