Well, the blues is a musical form
Where you sing the first line two times
Erm, I said
The blues is a musical form
Where you sing the first line two times
That gives you eight whole bars
And a twiddly bit
To think of a last line that rhymes
With it, sort of thing
I'm gonna play a blues guitar solo
With my face contorted with pain
I'm gonna play a blues guitar solo
With my face contorted with pain
Erm, because my gal done left me
I lost my job
And my piles have flared up again
How come the pile's so bad
That it hurts my bum when I sneeze
I've got the piles so bad
They're slapping against the backs of my knees
I've got the piles so bad
I just can't change them
And you can't cure piles
You can only rearrange them
I've got piles of trouble
In my heart and in my soul
Heart, soul, heart, soul, heart, soul
I've got piles of trouble
Well, I know I can't cure them
And I know I never will
I've tried dynamite, red-hot pokers
And a blackened deck of drill
I've tried sandpaper and a blow lamp
All around my anal area
And hydrochloric acid
And a hungry jack-mussel terrier
I've got piles of trouble
In my heart and in my soul
Heart, soul, heart, soul, heart, soul
I've got piles of trouble
Bum, bum, bum
Yes, good people
I've got piles of trouble
No wonder that the most miserable animal in history
Was called a tyrannosaur *
My mum said I could cure piles
If I stuck some tea leaves up my *
But the tea leaves only made them worse
I went to the doctor and he took a look
He said, it's piles, all right
And you're going to meet a tall, dark stranger
And go on a long journey
I've got the piles so bad
I'm filled up with pain
I've got the piles so bad
I'm walking like John Wayne
I've got the piles so bad
And it's driving me bonkers
My bum looks like a big blue rubber glove
That's filled with conkers
I've got piles of trouble
In my heart and in my soul
Heart, soul, heart, soul, heart, soul
I've got piles of trouble
Bum, bum, bum
Thank you, thank you, thank you
Thank you from the heart of my bottom
Oh, oh, oh, ow, oh, oh, ow
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh