Welcome to my breakfast table this is what you'll find

A different kind of breakfast food that leaves the real ones far behind

What's the *** deal, all these brand names all around

They raise the prices, raise my rent, but do not make a sound



Now I'm getting older these changes in my life

It's the Quaker man he's the one I give my hand

He's the one who picks my wife for me

I think that he is God

You know it's true

He's the one who picks my wife for me



Jesus Christ, Holy ***, now what's the *** deal?

How the Hell should I go on if there's no more *** appeal

I give you flakes

I give you puffs of corn right off the shelf

I know you never thought of that

I know you never thought of it



Stand in line for oats today.