I know what you’re thinking

What’s Barney been drinking?

That girl was smoking hot

Yes I coulda nailed her

But no it’s not a failure

‘Cuz there’s one thing she is not

To score a ten would be just fine

But I’d rather be dressed to the nines

It’s a truth you can’t refute

Nothing suits me like a suit

Picture a world

where all the boys and girls

Are impeccably well dressed

That delivery guy

in the jacket and tie

That puppy in the double-breast

That ’80s dude in mutton chops

That baby with a lollipop

That lady cop who’s kinda cute

Nothing suits ‘em like a suit

Wingman I can wear

They’re oh so debonair

The perfect way to snare

a girl with daddy issues

In navy blue or black

Check out this perfect rack

I want to give them a squeeze

Oh really? Then answer these questions

If you please

What would you do if you had to choose

Between your suits and a pot of gold? Suits.

What would you say

If you gave your suits away

In return you’d never grow old? Suits.

What would you pick

One million chicks

Or a single three-piece suit? It’s moot.

What if world peace

Were within your reach ... Abbadabada I’m gonna stop you right there. It’s suits. Come on, Lily. Get your head outta your ass.

Two! Three! Four!

Girls will go and girls will come

But there’s only one absolute

Every bro on the go needs to know

That there’s no accepted substitute

I’m sorry suits, let’s make amends

My Sunday best are my best friends

Send casual Friday down the laundry chute

‘Cuz nothing suits the undisputed oft-saluted suitor of repute

Like a .... wait for it ...

Suit!

Then again, she is pretty hot.