A lady that I know just came from Colombia
She smiled because I did not understand
Then she held out some marijuana
She said it was the best in all the land
And I said no, no, no, no, I don't smoke it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No thank you please, it only makes me sneeze
Then it makes it hard to find the door
A woman that I know just came from Mallorca, Spain
She smiled because I did not understand
Then she held out a ten pound bag of cocaine
She said it was the finest in the land
And I said no, no, no, no, I don't smoke it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No thank you please, it only makes me sneeze
Then it makes it hard to find the door
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
A man I know just came from Nashville, Tennessee, oh
He smiled because I did not understand
Then he held out some moonshine whiskey, oh
He said it was the best in all the land
And I said no, no, no, no, I don't drink it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No thank you please, it only makes me sneeze
Then it makes it hard to find the door
Well, I said no, no, no, no, can't take it no more
I'm tired of waking up on the floor
No thank you please, it only makes me sneeze
Then it makes it hard to find the door
Just put mine in the booth.