She said, "It's just a woman thing"

And pulled out of the drive

And I said not to worry

I'm an understanding guy I heard that when you love someone

You gotta let 'em go

She hollered, "When I find myself

You'll be the first to know"

Ooo hooo no news I learned to do the laundry

Feed the cat and clean the house

I promised to be patient

While she worked her problems out When she packed her bags

Her destination was unclear

But I sensed that her intentions

Were honest and sincere

Ooo hooo no news She could telephone, tell a friend

Tell a lie about where she's been

Send a pigeon, send a fax

Write it on a post-it pad

Send a signal up in smoke

Tap it out in Morse code

I'd prefer a bad excuse to no news Her momma's been a little vague

As to her whereabouts

Her sister says, "I'm certain

Your romance is headed south" I don't have a single doubt

That she's still in love

My level of anxiety

Is just a product of

Ooo hooo no news She could telephone, tell a friend

Tell a lie about where she's been

Send a pigeon, send a fax

Write it on a post-it pad

Send a signal up in smoke

Tap it out in Morse code

I'd prefer a bad excuse She missed her bus, missed her plane

Surely, this can be explained

Lost her car at the mall

Got locked in a bathroom stall

Playing guitar with the band

On the road with pearl jam Buried with the grateful dead

Came back as a parrot head

Got derailed, got de-iced

Offered as a sacrifice

FBI, CIA, if they've seen her

They ain't saying

No news! Still no news!