Everybody, please spit your pancakes out
and cheer for Chris Gethard.
Hi, everybody.
Thanks so much.
That's hot, but nice.
Just the idea that you guys would come out here
and spend some of your time with me
and some of your money, I take it means a lot
because it means I get to have a show,
which is a nice thing
because I say this with great love for my family,
but I have a five-month-old son at home,
and it's amazing.
It's really beautiful and amazing.
That being said, it's nice to know
that I'm going to sleep through the night tonight,
so thank you.
I will be sleeping on a couch,
and I have never been more excited for anything
in my entire life.
It's so wild.
I'm turning 40.
I'm turning 40 in May,
and I didn't know that I was going to feel new feelings.
I didn't understand.
I had the kid, and I'm like, I'm feeling new feelings.
I thought I had felt all the feelings before.
I've been on earth for four decades,
like good feelings and bad feelings,
good and bad feelings, like good feeling.
Here's a good feeling.
Sometimes my son, when I'm holding him,
he will fall asleep in this way
where he just like, he's like out.
He goes like limp, and he's sleeping,
and the first time it happened,
I was just like, oh my God, he trusts me so much.
He feels so safe with me.
Amazing feeling.
That's a good feeling.
Bad feeling.
Telling a six-day-old boy
to shut the * up.
That's a bad, that's not even the bad feeling.
The bad feeling is realizing how much you mean it.
That's the bad feeling.