He's several hours late, the skyline's growing *** While others deck the halls, you dream of decking him My choice in men has always been pathetic, I suppose The guy who stole my credit cards, the guy who tried on my clothes And so a row of self-help books line my bedroom shelf But there's one rule, those books, for God, you never fall in love with an elf His endless talk of Christmastown will test your every nerve Still he's kind of cute, I guess, well, if you grade on a curve And though you vowed you'd never sing, just look at yourself You're halfway through a Christmas song called Never Fall in Love with an Elf The holidays will seem bittersweet while you're alone in bed But how can one girl ever compete with a magic fat guy in a flying sled? So ask a hundred single girls from here to Philadelphia They'll say it's clear as day you're in for sleepless nights If you date a guy who has a thing for tights, oh, never fall in love Never fall in love Never fall in love With an elf It's as clear as a jingle bell, if you are single, well, don't fall in love with an elf It's as clear as a jingle bell, if you are single, well, don't fall in love with an elf Never fall in love Never fall in love Never fall in love Never fall in love