It's political correctness that's killing us.
You know, I watch New England Sports Network.
That's where I watch the Red Sox.
It's the most politically correct channel
on the goddamn TV set.
They talk about cancer every goddamn show
and every game.
It's like, and I understand that.
You're trying to make it a weird,
but there was a time we used to go to Fenway Park
or watch sports as a release to get away from this *.
So can we keep it on Facebook, please?
Can I have my tits and my porn on my sports?
And you have your pink ribbons and * over here.
And then I'll come over on Tuesday
and give you five bucks, okay?
Can we *?
New England Sports Network.
It's the most politically correct.
They keep bringing people out
from the 2013 marathon bombing,
which I understand, right?
They keep marching people out in 2014,
which they deserve it.
I'm not saying anything about them.
God bless them.
They throw out the first pitch at Fenway Park.
There's people with missing arms and legs.
But every goddamn game.
Now they're bringing people out that were there
that really didn't get hurt.
You know, it's 2016.
They're like Dougie Smith from Burlington, Vermont.
He lost a wallet that day and two watches.
Here comes Jean Smith from Chatham, Massachusetts.
She lost her breath running away from the bombing.
Let's talk to her for 10 minutes.
It's just, they had a lady come out,
104 years old, in a wheelchair
to throw out the first pitch.
This is what I'm talking about,
political correctness run amok.
She's 104.
She's in a wheelchair.
They put the ball in her lap.
Some guy pushes her out in the wheelchair real fast
and then stops short.
The ball rolled like six inches from her feet.
Fenway goes crazy,
like some guy just struck somebody out
in the bottom of the ninth at game seven.
I'm at home giving the finger
to a lady in a wheelchair who's 104.
Yeah, that was a great, yeah.
Let's put her in the * bullpen for middle relief.
She's got great junk.
And nothing's just for adults anymore, right?
We got to work our kids into everything, right?
This is what they do on New England Sports Network.
They take a boy or a girl out of the audience,
age anywhere from six to 15.
Boy or girl, God forbid it was just boys.
I don't remember too many chicks
playing Major League Baseball,
but we had the black little girl from Philly
and literally, what was her name?
Exactly, my point.
Back to the * joke.
Anyways.
They have them read the opposing lineup
on camera of the Red Sox opposing team
and they're like,
oh, it's a little Dougie DeLuca
out of Nashua, New Hampshire.
He's 15 years old,
reading at a second grade level
because he has a touch of autism.
We wouldn't have it any other way
here on New England Sports Network.
You couple that with the fact
that half the Blue Jays lineup
is from the Dominican Republic.
This makes for an uncomfortable 45 minutes.
The kid's literally going,
leading off and playing second base,
Jose Papaduthi, Jose Papaduthi,
Jose Papaduthi, Jose Papaduthi,
Jose Papaduthi, Jose Papaduthi,
Jose Papaduthi, Jose Papaduthi.
You can hear Jerry Remy,
the Red Sox announcer, laughing.
He's, what the * we got a game to do?
The kid's supposed to get through all nine batters.
They come back in the fifth inning,
he's on the cleanup slot.
And then when he's done,
the Red Sox announcers have to go,
nice job, Kevin.
Yeah, that's right, encourage the kid
to go into * broadcasting.
I'm sure that's how my dad
would have handled it in 1972.
I would have come off camera,
my father would have been waiting for me.
Hey, * face, I want to talk to you.
Get over here.
You sound like a tongue-tied douchebag.
You doing your phonics?
What are you doing, *?
Now that was good parenting.
Look how I turned out.
54, losing money,
selling coke to school children.
Look how I turned out.
But, uh...