Here we go now...
Chorus 1:
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Verse 1:
My mom, my mom,
I know you're probably tired of hearing 'bout my mom
Oho whoa-ho,
But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty
And how I became hooked on val-i-um.
Valium was in everything, food that I ate
The water that I drank
*** peas in my plate
She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak
So everyday I have at least 3 stomach aches
Now tell me what kind of mother would want to see her
Son grow up to be an under-a-***-chiever
My teacher didn't think I was going to be nothing either
What the *** you stickin' gum up under the ***in' seat for?
Misses Mathers your son has been huffin' ether
Either that or the mother ***er's been puffin' reefer
But all this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was either
It was neither,
I was buzzin' but it wasn't what she thought
Pee in a tea-cup? Bitch you ain't my keeper
I'm sleepin'
What the *** you keep on ***in' with me for?
S*** you need to leave me the *** alone
I ain't playin'go find you a white crayon
And color a ***in' zebra
Chorus 2:
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Verse 2:
Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is paint thinner
You ate it yesterday I ain't hear no complaints did I?
Now here's a plate full of painkillers
Now just wait til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes
Ya little mother ***er,
I'll make ya sit there and make that retarded ***in' face without even tastin' it
You better lick the ***in' plate, you ain't wastin' it
Put ya face in it before I throw you in the basement again
And I aint givin in you're gonna just sit there in one ***in place spinnin in
Until next thanksgivin and if you still aint finished it I'll use the same *** again
Then when I make spinach dip it'll be placed in the ***
You little *** you want to sit there and play innocent
A rack fell and hit me at K-Mart and they witnessed it
Child support, your father he ain't sent the ***
And so what if he did? It's none of your dang business kid.
Chorus 3:
My mom, there's no one else quite like my mom
I know I should let bygones be bygones
But she's the reason why I am high on what I'm high on
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Verse 3:
My mom loved valium now all I am is a poly-animal
I am what I am but I'm strong to be finished with me valium spinach
But my buzz only lasts about two minutes
But I don't want to swallow it without chewing it
I can't even write a rhyme without doin' it
My valium, my valium
Man I never thought that I could ever be a drug addict
Nah *** that, I can't have it happen to me
But that's actually what has ended up happenin'
A tragedy from *** passin it up got to me
And it's probably were I got acquainted with the taste aint it
Pharmaceuticals are the bomb mom beautiful
She killed the *** dog with the medicine she done fed it
Feed it a *** aspirin and say that it has a headache
Here, want a snack?
You hungry you *** brat?
Look at that, it's a Xanax.
Take it and take a nap, eat it,
But I don't need it.
Then *** it then break it up
Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up
Alright ma, you win I don't feel like arguin'
I'll do it, pop it gobble it and start wobblin'
Stumble hobble tumble slip drip
Then I fall in bed with a bottle of meds
And a Heath Ledger bobblehead
Chorus 4:
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
