Dear sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight,
For at this time of writing I am not a pretty sight.
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey,
And I write this note to say why potty's not at work today.
Whilst working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear,
Yet throw them down from such a height was not a good idea.
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he'd been an awkward sod,
He said I'd have to cart them down the leathers in me hod.
Now clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow,
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below,
But in my haste to do the job I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.
So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead,
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
The barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head.
I hung on tightly numb with shock from this almighty blow,
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below.
Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more,
Still clinging tightly to the rope my body raked with pain,
When halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again.
The force of this collision halfway up the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock.
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground,
And landed on the broken bricks that were all scattered round.
I lay there moaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst,
When the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst.
A shower of bricks rained down on me I hadn't got to hope,
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel then went heavier it started down once more,
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor.
It broke three ribs in my left arm and I can only say,
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.