Come on over, honey, and give your Uncle Dolomite a kiss. Well, what you want, baby? Won't you tell me a story? You want me to tell you a story? Hell yeah, me too. Yes, honey, I'm gonna tell you a story about the bad-ass Eazy-E. He was drinking whiskey and gin at the age of three. Listen and listen well. He's a bad mother***er. Give me that goddamn book. Here, let me read you this one. Christmas in Compton. It was a silent night. Yes, a holy night. Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa mother***ing, right? Merry Christmas, mother***er! Merry mother***ing Christmas and a ho-ho-ho While I ride that cock under the mistletoe While I'm dashing through the snow In a candy-wrapped top six bowl Over the hills I go Laughing at this hole Knots on her chin ring Making me feel right Oh, what fun it is to know That I'm gonna get this pussy tonight So, ring them bells, ring them bells She's taking it all the way Oh, what fun it is to watch Her *** this way Hey, ring them bells, ring them bells She's taking it all the way Oh, what fun it is to laugh While she's sucking my dick Oh, give me that Tis the season to get built And cops are crying, Nick And I'm smoking all this *** Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho Come sit on my face, I mean laugh And tell me what you want for Christmas I wanna play around I'm dreaming these different worlds She said I'd slide down the chimney In a pool of cum I'd feast a yarn on his neck When I was born a flit Give us a root of the retinal grade Ditch a life long Like an everlasting gobstopper Give me a worm for his tongue You'll be the bloody popper I dig a hole Crack a toe By the North Pole I wanna be hammered up And I should talk ***in' in the snow I chuck the drum to his knees Yeah, you know what's up I knock a cracker And he can't pick He'll eat him up An exotic man I jump and dance Swingin' my matoos Chimneys for time I'm lubricating cranky Stakes in me A little jack horny guy So take it Take it Give me a crunchy Crunchy punch Pride Yeah, snowballs on the hood Bon appetit With a condom In a mat tree All I want for Christmas Is my two front teeth My two front teeth My two front teeth All I want for Christmas Is my two front teeth Yo, rip a rhyme for me, Buckwheat Buckwheat is a rascal That's the whole Christmas And all the toys, boys and girls *** your wishes I'm not happy Overjoyed In this mother***er No handle under my tree So Santa be a sucker Throw *** on the roof Call for Rudolph's neck When I was young I was the only kid Who had enough guts to be Good on here And on the East Stay awake Just to let America know That Santa wasn't fake I used to believe In Saint Dick When Elvis was alive But all that ***in' bull*** Got played when I was five Years old Just a young Bold titan Singin' Silent Night Carolyn recitin' Now all I want for Christmas Is fightin' Don't freak I got my two front teeth Uncle Easy Please a GV And just break me a link Little kids don't cry When you find out That Santa Claus Is just a ***in' lie On the third day of Christmas My homeboys gave to me Three pounds of endo Two birds of cocaine And a A Mother***in' K Bitch Easy E Oh Easy E Show us how you treat Those bitches I don't mind Being ***in' Easy Claus Close the door Little bitch I'm gettin' These drawers I'm gettin' These drawers I'm gettin' These drawers I'm gettin' These drawers I'm gettin' These drawers Little bitch I'm gettin' These drawers Tell my daddy If your ass don't stop I don't give a *** I'm gettin' Christmas cock Ho ho ho And away I go Who say Nick's got a dick Like a poe But where's that *** It's mother***in' cheap Shut the *** up bitches And go back to sleep Yo Blackie The one for Christmas Yo Black I want a job And for my Christmas None of your ***ed up bagel Want some corn on the cob Or you will eat Some multiple soup But a nigga Will eat some chicken And chillin' Go to Mellon And make a hot mecca I know Get on my ***er Y'all with your carol Yo I could get Busy And slam it like a And rip it By a monorimer I'm down with the Advent clan While making the *** I'm slamming Christmas timer The simple sound Of cribbers Make me jump Jump jump I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete I'm delete Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas And have a ***ed up New year Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas And have a ***ed up New year Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas And have a ***ed up New year Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas And have a ***ed up New year Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas And have a ***ed up New year Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas And have a ***ed up New year Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas Merry mother ***ing Christmas And have a ***ed up New year Have a ***ed up New year You bitch