I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth You know that gypsy with the gold cap, too She's got a pet and a thirty-fourth of mine Selling little bottles of love potion number nine I told her that I was a flop with chicks I've been this way since 1956 She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign And said, what you need is love potion number nine She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink She said, I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink It smelled like turpentine and the black Indian ink I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink I didn't know if it was day or night I started kissing everything in sight But when I kissed the cop and the thirty-fourth of mine He broke my little bottle of love potion number nine I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink I didn't know if it was day or night I started kissing everything in sight But when I kissed the cop and the thirty-fourth of mine He broke my little bottle of love potion number nine Love potion number nine Love potion number nine Love potion number nine Love potion number nine