Now everybody's got a crazy notion of their ownSome like to mix up with the crowd, some like to be aloneIt's no one else's business as far as I can seeBut every time that I go out the people stare at meWith me little ukulele in me handI'm sure the people just don't understandSome say, why don't you be a scout, why don't you read a bookBut I get much more pleasure when I'm playing with me ukeOf course I take no notice, you can tellFor mother's sound advice will always standShe said, boy, don't do what I say and you'll never go astrayKeep the ukulele in your hand, yes sonKeep the ukulele in your handWhile walking down the prom last night as peaceful as can beThis bird from Wales says, oh a boat, a straw, let me seeShe said her name was Gert and that she'd just come for the dayShe looked so young and I was sad I couldn't turn awayAnd with me little ukulele in me handI take to strong with girls along the sandWe walked along for miles without a single care or friendBut when we reached the sand hill she said, come on, let's sit downOh, I felt so shy and bashful sitting thereWell, the things she said I just don't understandShe said, your love just turns me cuckooI indeed said, goodness look youBut I kept me ukulele in me hand, oh babyKept me ukulele in me handMade up me mind that I'd get wed some eighteen months agoI even bought a book about the things you ought to knowBut just about a year ago I had an awful frightI had to get dressed quickly in the middle of the nightAnd with me little ukulele in me handI run along the road for Dr BrandIt didn't take him long to get his little bag of toolsI held his hat and coat and then he made me a book of rulesOut of the bedroom door he looked and smiledSaid, come inside and see your wife and childOh, my heart did jump with joy, I could see it was a boyCos he had his ukulele in his hand, oh babyHad his ukulele in his hand, oh babyHad his ukulele in his hand