when mum locked me in the coal shed after the incident with the chainsaw and the latex rabbit
and the girl guides in the tent she fed me pancakes under the door she gave me a radio
I drool and smile and swivel that dial to the Doctor Demento show I've stayed tuned
in for twenty years but now it's plain as plain oh come on mum and let me out compared
to him I'm sane well bless my little pointed head I'm howling at the moon I'm naughty
as a fruitcake when the doctor plays my tune ***ensions and dementites from St. Lou to
Sacramento know the weirdo with the beard oh that's
that the kids all call Demento listen each week and you might just freak and your senses
will grow *** you'll hit that crackpot jackpot and end up just like him calling all the funny
farms it's crazy time again bring out the beer the doctor's here to scramble up your
brain oh oh oh he's the guy the reason why your funny bone was invented if you're inclined
to lose your mind well let's all get demented
D-E-M-E-N-T-O
He's the chap that Norman Bates would take home to his mum with songs about dead puppies
and fish heads crazy words and crazy tunes Spike Jones and a little bit of punk bear
he don't give a about middle of the road unless there's a dead skunk there Flo and Eddie Cheech
and Chong and discs that won't go platinum sung by folks that they keep locked up so
other folks can't get at in them calling all the crazy houses every night and every night

and every padded cell I've run amok I'm Donald Duck
My my my radio brings me that show that keeps me so contented I'm king of the Zulus I've
got a screw loose let's all get demented
D-E-M-E-N-T-O Doctor Demento
Exactly A to Zachaly it's Barnes and Barnes the goons Steve Martin shaving foam and National
Lampoon
They're coming to take me away!

A geek with a neck like a pencil Monty Python, Loudon, Wainwright, Gumby, Ogden, Edsel, DeZapper
and Elvira and Weird Al Yankovic It goes to show that Demento is one weird son of a calling
all around the world it's time to get delirious Try Doctor D and then you'll see
You cannot be serious If you complain that he's insane he'd be so
complimented
Don't touch that dial, go away!
Don't touch that dial, go away!
Go hog wild, let's all get demented
D-E-M-E-N-T-O Doctor Demento