Look, they say the universe it works in a strange way And it must be true because We ain't from the same background or same place But me and Leslie ended up on that same train I'm talking every day I used to wake up around 7 or 8 To catch the 906 on Norbury Station Two different worlds in the same location And one day we ended up speaking And I would talk about college She would talk about meetings And how she's planning on leaving How she hates what she does but she needs it I asked her what she would do and it's the weekend And she said, she said, I don't know myself I don't know myself no more She used to be the life of the party for true Now she's going out hardly ever Her man got her in the yard forever And her friends wanna help But it's hard to tell her, hard to let her Know that her man's possessive and aggressive She can't even see it but for them it's clear as day She's in a situation Her friend Hannah had a man that was manipulative So she can see it from a mile off Turtleneck jumpers make up around her eye spots All the signs were there But Lesley made it seem a light affair Said it wasn't right to share Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man Didn't know much about him but he's been in a can Name's Jason, he's a bad boy with no reasoning To be honest I don't know what Les sees in him Cos she's a good girl with a sweet heart But they both got demons in the deep heart You know opposites attract, apparently Never heard talk about her family ever, uh-uh He was all that she had Until they had an argument and he stopped calling her back And I don't know if there was more to the story than that Cos she plays things down but according to that He went missing one day in the morning he ran She's doing overtime, struggling affording a flat Till she lost her job it *** all of her plans Couldn't pay the rent, borrowing and calling for cash But Hannah she was there for her, cared for her When I saw Les she told me I don't know myself I don't know myself no more Les saying I got nothing to live for It's been raw but David I ain't never been this poor There's no income, my boyfriend left me So how the *** am I gonna survive when his kid's born And I said it's a blessing as mad as it is And Les I never even knew that you were having a kid Bro she's four months pregnant, young and neglected Single but I don't think she wants to accept it So she's still texting exes tryna get this back on track But I don't think that she gets it It's emotional obsession, clinical depression Life is a lesson And you ain't gotta sit and cry Cos Lesley living in this gift called life There's no better gift than the gift of life So can you handle it? I don't know myself I don't know myself no more But I changed her perspective, late in December Her baby's expected to drop, she's accepted Excited, electric, pumped Only gotta wait a few months Her and Hannah had lunch, told her she's pregnant And they're the closest of brethren So she didn't stunt to tell her, I think that it's an error You ain't a mum for a day, you're a mum forever Whatever And you and Jason break up whenever If I'm honest, that's something you should have done together She doesn't know that her and Jason going out again And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's carrying a child for them She had daydreams of settling down with Jason Better cos now they're together, it's wild Feeling like she needs to call her friends and tell them Cos while she's letting them down But most of them are never around She calls Hannah the next day Still trying to figure out the best way to tell her that she's getting back together with an ex-flame So she left her a voicemail Like, yo Hannah, it's Les, can you call me back? I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back I used to be so ***ing confident But these days, I swear that I don't know myself I don't know myself no more It's 3.30, Lesley was meant to get a scan But today I think she's going home early Trying to talk to Jason Tell him about the kid addressing Any reservations, had that conversation Middle of the summer and it's raining Waiting at the train station, hella cancellation So she gets a taxi, sitting in the backseat Blue jean jacket and a maxi Actually tired and her legs are aching Touched the destination Way faster than a cab driver's estimation She put the key in the door She couldn't believe what she see on the floor Some size 5 trainers raging Tears in her eyes but it's cool Cause they must be the neighbours and Jason's In the bedroom, fully naked Lesley running up the stairs But she's making noise And she can hear Jason's voice saying Hide in the closet But he's made his choice So she bursts in Saying what kind of person Would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend Jason Saying what the ***, you're pregnant What the *** You weren't even gonna tell me I mean what the *** What you want from us? Nah You ain't in love, you just wanna love Lesley telling Jason I don't wanna love I don't wanna you and I, I don't wanna us And also, I don't wanna talk loads One more line before I dash like Morse code Open the wardrobe And Jason's on the edge I just wanna see if she was prettier than me Slimmer than me Maybe your baby's similar to me Maybe You wanted someone thicker than me Fitter than me To satisfy you quicker than me I got your baby in my stomach And you did this to me What did I ever do to you For you to finish with me I didn't believe my girls But they were thinking of me And give it to me The wardrobe, give me the key I was pulling at the door But Jason's bigger than me Literally I remember viscerally Jason pulling from behind me Now he's dripping on me White flashes, eye gashes When he's hitting me, see I just wanted to disappear I wasn't living for me Physically I shut the ***ing door As quick as can be He's outside asking why I made him do what he did Using a kick to open up the room That I'm in I'm feeling afraid Barricaded with a chair and a handle I'm hearing sirens I just wanna run away But I can't Jason's gone by the time Police are coming They saw that there ain't no one else In the house And feds are running through the door Shouting We had reports of an argument With a woman There's blood all over the floor And it splattered onto the wall Les leaves on the bed And she's trying to speak to the feds She's deep in her stress And it's meters above her head If anything She couldn't even say anything But she's got this really sharp pain Where her belly is so They call an ambulance Les leading a plan for this Police are in the room Trying to find the missing piece Of the puzzle Until they stumble On something that's kind of random It's a phone In a wardrobe They had five missed phone calls From Jason And also a couple other numbers So they're thinking that is no help Until they play the voicemail Like, yo Hannah, it's Les Can you call me back? I wanna talk about the baby You, me, Jason, all of that I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back I used to be so ***ing confident But these days, I swear that I don't know myself I don't know myself no more She felt sick to her stomach She started panicking Mind rattling Trying to understand what Hannah did Battling the shame Could a situation embarrassing? She's trying to fathom it Betrayed by her own garrison Meanwhile, she's on the deck Trying to manage this Piercing pain in her stomach She couldn't handle it Now she's waiting for an ambulance Look And I know she's strong But when I heard about what happened I was over-shocked Her nose was gone Her jawline shattered and rot They said her baby was the reason she was holding on She's dozing off Doctors getting no response Her heart rate's slowing down And they don't know what's wrong Picked her up Got her out the home And onto the stretcher For good measure But she's fading out She took damage to the brain And now she's in a coma as we speak But I ain't sure if she can make it out You see this time that I'm taking out To tell you this story Is more than a song or track It's a message to a woman with a toxic mind I'm begging you to get support If you're lost or trapped I understand that I can never understand And I ain't saying that it's easy But it must be right Some of your sister's aunties Mums and wives are *** inside And they won't ever touch on why I'm touched cause I've seen women that I love don't like Crying little red tear through a bloodshot eye This ***'s awful No matter what culture It ain't normal Men try and twist it And make it seem like it's your fault In that train full of people that you're taking How many Lesleys are running from their Jasons? A spark without a flame A child without a name Oh, it's just wrong Like an ocean without a shore A soldier without a war How can we do this anymore? A song without a voice A spark without a flame A child without a name Oh, it's just wrong Well, we've made a massive amount of progress in this last year, haven't we? It feels like a long journey. And I must say it's been a pleasure to watch you mature and grow in thought and in your career and life. You've opened up immensely. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss these sessions. But you know, you can never stop learning about yourself. So you're always welcome. I'm just happy you're at a place now where you feel you understand your emotions and are in control.