I travel a lot because
I'm better than you
And
I just got a free night
At a hotel, okay
It's called Comfort Inn
And it really lives up
To its name
Because comfort means
A place of peace
And well-being
And inn means
Not
Like
Incompetent
Or inept
Because they're really
Not epped
At the Comfort Inn
How do you get a free night
At a hotel?
At a hotel it's easy
Get bumped from a flight
On Delta
And how do you get
Bumped from a flight
On Delta?
Book a flight on Delta
My next trip
I'm going
Vacation
Going to the beach
And I wanted a good book
For the beach
I was a writing major
I always wanted to
Write real bad
And now I can
But
Where I went to school
You had to sell the books
Back after
You had to sell the books
Back after your class
If you wanted to
Eat
So I didn't have
Any of my old books
But I remembered
A very funny satire
I read called
Catch-22
Who's
Who's
Somebody
Okay
Who's
Who's seen the movie?
It's alright
This will work
Don't worry
Who's
Who's read the title?
Okay
Yeah
It's slow in the beginning
But it really picks up
After the hyphen
Anyway
I went to this big
Membership book place
And I don't know
What the clerk's problem was
But I gave him the book
And he said
Is that it?
And I said
Yeah that's it
Catch-22
Well I need to see
Your membership card
Oh I don't have
A membership card
How do I get one?
You have to buy something
Well I'm buying
Catch-22
Not without a membership card
So
I didn't get the Catch-22
But
It's alright
Many of you
Didn't either
So instead
I'm going to
I'm going to
I'm going to




I got
To kill a mocking clerk
Is what I got
It's in the how-to section
Next to
Death of a salesman
That guy was a real
Moby
I'm married
Sorry ladies
And confused boys
People ask
What app did you guys use?
We met the old-fashioned way
I plundered her village
But this is true
This is a true story
My wife is a bicyclist
And she was in an accident
And snapped her femur
In the
Yeah in her hip
Do we have any
Medical professionals here?
Does anyone know any
What do you know about the femur?
What do you know about the femur?
It's a big bone
It's a big bone
It's the biggest bone
They say the only thing worse
Than a broken femur
Is
A wife with a broken femur
Which is what I have
And
It's no walk in the park
I'll tell you that
Because
For two weeks
After the accident
You can't even sit down
When you have a wife
With broken femur
Because she's always asking you
To get stuff you know
I need more meds
Okay
Take me to the bathroom
All right
And that's the first symptom
Ringing in the ears
Is the first symptom
Of a wife with broken femur
And it goes on and on
Drain the fluid bag
And adjust the pillows
And I'm ready to eat
And it's good for the quads
That's great
Yeah
That's the only good thing
About WBF
And I run a lot
I ran 10K the other day
And if you don't know
How that translates
10K is almost
It's about
It's a little bit more
Than 9K
But it's
Less
Fewer than
11K
It's almost
It's almost 10K
And
I don't want to sound elitist
Because I'm better than that
But I was on my
High school crossroad
Cross country team
For five years
Basically what you do
Is you run
Across
The country
That's why it's called
Lake Titicaca
The end