This next joke is just for the gentlemen, okay?
Just for the fellas.
Ladies, pair up, talk about your uteruses.
Just for the fellas.
Fellas only.
You guys, you guys ever go to a party, right?
And the chick throwing the party's kinda acting like a bitch.
You know what I'm talking about?
Right, right?
So you go into her bathroom and put her toothbrush on your balls?
Surprise!
That's right, I'll * do it.
You don't know me.
You're gonna talk down to me at your house?
Are you out of your mind?
I go to this party in Hollywood Hills, right?
You know how those parties are with
the * Hilton type sister girls.
Oh my god, my * party, I'll * do it.
And girls are confident when they throw parties,
aren't they?
They're like,
everyone get hair at Thor,
we'll do our hair,
have some apple martinis.
Oh my god, I'll * do it.
Oh my god, I'll * do it.
I'll *, this is awesome.
And by the time people start showing up,
they get real arrogant and cocky.
So I walk into this girl's house, I'm like,
hey, I should probably tell you this,
I'm gonna have to Xanax when I go there,
that's just how I roll.
But
I go, where's y'all's bathroom at?
And she goes,
where's y'all's bathroom at?
Ah,
you must have gone to a state school.
And I don't know why that's an insult.
I'm like, uh.
Why,
because I'm thinking about putting your toothbrush
in my balls right now.
She's like, what did you say?
I was like, no, your bathroom.
So I'm in her bathroom, right?
And I'm getting it good.
You know,
like when was the last time you cleaned your
balls with a brush, sir?
Like,
pants around the ankles,
compact mirror on the
toilet seat,
and it's one of those radiuses with a big head.
So I'm getting my taint in one stroke,
I'm just,
oh.
Like if someone walks in,
there is nothing I can * say.
I'm like, uh, oh.
I was looking for the cops,
do you know where the cops are?
Oh, help me, get help, it's attacking my balls.
There's nothing I can say,
and I'm thinking to myself,
while I'm doing this, I'm like,
Bert,
talk about this on stage, why?
Well, it's * hilarious.
But,
more importantly,
it's a lesson to the ladies.
Right, it is, no, for real.
It's like an after school special about my balls.
Because girls throw parties all the time.
All the time.
But the one thing you've got to remember is be nice to
everyone that shows up.
Because all your * is there.
And I brought my balls.
You think I'm sweating now?
You should see my balls, they're on fire.
They're on fire.