One day after closing I was lying on my desk When staff shouts, get your bags on, come on out here inside Well, I grabbed my striped tank top, I unveiled straight from my vest And I said, let's get some cans in, it's a long ride Well, we drove along the M6, chugging cans up to the floor Stopped at all, said, this is for photos Picked up some fitted jackets, and we told them filthy jokes Found them in the back seat of the Grotto Going down Blackpool, all right Going down Blackpool, all right Going down Blackpool, all right See the lights Bullies in the driving seat, carmies in the front Joking, watching, come you're going gay Beaters in the back seat, with a crack snot on his knee Clutch his finger up like a fairy, go! Now ten miles outside Blackpool, we had some real bad luck I shouts, oh ***, we've got a flat The mate had drunk the jack, the shrub-cup turned vital down the road So we made him go and get the ***er back Going down Blackpool, all right Going down Blackpool for a pint Going down Blackpool, all right, all right See the lights Going down Blackpool, all right Going down Blackpool for a pint Going down Blackpool, all right, all right See the lights All right Better introduce this bunch of wankers for you, ain't I? What the ***'s going on here? Beater's broken a string That's the beater on the guitar, the one that looks like a packie Ha ha ha, very funny Oh, ***ing morning ladies, you cunts This big *** down the front here is Ben Nevis And this little one is Lance, got a lock stuck On the drums is Charlie, the extremely ***ing hard Who's getting his hair cut next week, I hope And my name's Molly