I'm just one of many children, raised by the system I'm just one of many children, raised by the system Pops was a victim, didn't want to sell but they was bout to get victim In this whole family, mama got trauma from drama it's insanity Recently she been strung out, caught her where the drug dealers hung out She seen me and ran like shots rung out Just a matter of time before the block come out And tell me I'm a crack baby, I need a gap maybe I'm only 15, it's that crazy Blood on my hands, blood on my wrist, yeah Fighting the pain, clenching my fist, yeah Y'all probably saying, how did he get here? I recollect while I sit here Grandma say life is precious but I can't stand it I ain't living life, I'm doing life on the planet I got a friend in my head that understand it That voice take control, I call it Janet Nah, schizophrenic, I just see the real things Can it be therapeutic to kill things? Especially when they become a burden Like that little kid that can never get a wording Never getting love, never been deserving Well hopefully they clap when it's closed curtains I'm so certain, I ain't finna grow I don't wanna breathe, I just wanna go Blood on my hands, blood on my wrist, yeah Face of disgrace, I promised I wouldn't drip tears Small heart, big fears Looking in the mirror, this is it, yeah Never thought I'd be my own killer Mom's dealer, give me something that'll numb the filler Every bit of the pain, the wall and floor stained Been in this bathroom for about an hour Grandma's asleep, she thinking I'm in the shower But by the time she wake up, no more drama Just nerve damage and nirvana A step closer to death, I feel calmer I feel purpose, at home it's easy to feel worthless The knife I used is laying on the floor Eyes so I'm satisfied, I done tried before I'm having flashbacks of everything that I saw Then I feel somebody opening the door Blood on my hands, blood on my wrist, yeah Family screaming, damn, my demons got me Prayer couldn't stop me, heaven dropped me Now I suffer, grandma calling for my mother She don't want me, but I love her Sorry to my baby brother No more pain, I got your cover All is bleeding, *** the tubber Grandma lift me, thought I hovered In this world, it's gotten tougher Pop, I love you, so much *** I needed from you Hope I didn't disappoint you It was either this or join you In that prison, grandma gripping My small body telling me to hold on Her palms so soft, make me wanna stay strong Her eyes watering, wondering where we went wrong By the time they killed, I was gone Now I suffer, grandma calling for my mother She don't want me, but I love her Sorry to my baby brother No more pain, I got your cover All is bleeding, *** the tubber Grandma lifting me up Her palms so soft, make me wanna stay strong Her eyes watering, wondering where we went wrong All is bleeding, *** the tubber Grandma lifting me up Her palms so soft, make me wanna stay strong Her eyes watering, wondering where we went wrong