Well, I start runnin' a fever Every time he opens his mouth
She's been gawkin' at Jackson Ever since his first song came out
Oh, she loves Alan Jackson And his pretty blonde hair
Oh, I love Alan Jackson I ain't got a prayer
Whoa, he tried dressin' like Jackson Belt buckles, boots, and a hat
She said, Sorry, hon, that won't help you none
Because you're just too dang fat
Oh, I hate Alan Jackson She sleeps with a piece of his coat
Oh, I love Alan Jackson Cause of them songs he wrote
Well, I went backstage at his concert I got on his bus somehow
That big-talkin' man and his little five-piece band
Just told her what I didn't know how Gosh, I hate Alan Jackson
Now I'm his openin' act Oh, I love Alan Jackson
She's never comin' back She loves you, man
Well, I start runnin' a fever Every time he opens his mouth
She's been gawkin' at Jackson Ever since his first song came out
Oh, she loves Alan Jackson Makes me want to cuss
Oh, he hates Alan Jackson Think I'll blow up his bus
Yeah, someday I'll rock his jukebox No, you're not
I might hit him with a tall, tall tree Well, he just might hit you back
Well, I'll tell you what I'll show him the real world
He'll thank real world when they find him layin' out yonder
In the bottom of the Tattahoochee Oh, yeah
He just might run you over with his Mercury I'll tell you what
Tell him to meet me somewhere Hey, Hoss
Meet him at midnight in Montgomery
Wanted my life back Who says you can't have it all?
Alan Jackson