*, *, *
Ivor Biggin is my name
Wanking is my claim to fame
To hit the bathroom ceiling is my aim
A week ago last Tuesday I got just above the window frame
If you look carefully you can see the stain
I'm gonna wank until I paralyse my brain
You don't think I'm getting obsessed with all this masturbation bit
You don't think I'm a man obsessed
You don't think there's anything strange about me
I'm gonna wank until my testicles burst into flame
Until I yelp and scream with pain
And I'm gonna get a big piece of wood, a big lavatory door
And I'm gonna cut a hole out of it, knock a hole in it
I'm gonna stick my knob through the big hole in the lavatory door
And read all the rude stuff that's written on it and get myself excited
And I'm gonna go
Ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah
Ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ooh, ah

Ooh, ah, ooh, even though I know it goes against the grain
Until I feel
Oh, hoo-yah, ooh, ah, yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh
Right