Thank you.
Thanks.
About a year ago,
I was sitting around helping my ma finish a crossword puzzle.
And there was this little thing on
the back of the crossword puzzle book.
It had a bunch of similes,
like Sly as a fox,
Busy as a bee.
And you're supposed to fill in the blanks.
So me and her started filling them in and
we got to laughing about some of them.
And she started telling me some of the ones
she heard when she was a kid in Kentucky.
They're unmentionable.
But I didn't forget about it.
And I took that page out of the book and
kept it in my back pocket for a while.
And I started collecting these similes because
it seemed odd to me that somebody could sing
like an angel but eat like a horse.
So I let this kind of simmer for about a year
and I sat down last Sunday and wrote this song.
Originally the song was going to be called,
When the World was Flat as a Pancake,
Mona
Lisa was Happy as a Clam.
But I opted for a different one here.
It's just called It's a Big Ol' Goofy World.
Wake up in the morning,
work like a dog.
It's better than sitting
like a bump on a log.
Mind all your manners,
be quiet as a mouse.
Someday you'll own a home
that's as big as a house.
Well I know a fella,
he eats like a horse.
Knocks his old balls
round the old golf course.
He ought to see his wife,
she's a cute little dish.
She smokes like a chimney
and drinks like a fish.
There's a big ol'
goofy man dancing with a big ol' goofy girl.
Ooh baby,
it's a big ol' goofy world.
Now Elvis had a woman
with a head like a rock.
I wish I had a woman
that made my knees knock.
She'd sing like an angel
and eat like a bird.
And if I wrote a song,
she'd know every single word.
There's a big ol'
goofy man dancing with a big ol' goofy girl.
Ooh baby,
it's a big ol' goofy world.
Kiss a little baby,
give the world a smile.
If you take an inch,
give him back a mile.
Cause if you lie like a rug
and you don't give a damn,
you're never gonna be
as happy as a clam.
So I'm sitting in a hotel,
trying to write a song.
My head is just as empty
as a day is long.
Why it's clear as a bell,
I should have gone to school.
I'd be wise as an owl,
instead of stubborn as a mule.
There's a big ol'
goofy man dancing
with a big ol' goofy girl.
Ooh baby,
it's a big ol' goofy world.
Ooh baby,
it's a big ol' goofy world.
Thank you very much.