My mother is now taking care of my grandmother, who is 99.
Yeah.
She will be 100 very, very soon.
I mean, hope she makes it.
Hope she does.
If not, she had a good run.
But she is in full dementia.
Her body is in great shape, but her mind, she's living in probably about 20 to 30 years ago.
And I have to say, she's really adorable.
She's maybe 4'9".
She's really tiny.
And she's really funny because she just kind of goes along with the flow.
She's kind of like 10-second Tom from 50 First Dates.
You know what I'm talking about?
She only remembers like the last 10 seconds of things, which is fine.
It's cute.
But my mother was trying to prepare her for me to come home for a visit by saying on a loop.
My mother kept saying on a loop, Janet's coming home to visit.
Janet's coming home.
Now, listen, I got to tell you something.
I forgot to tell my grandmother that I was going to transition.
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
I don't.
I don't know why.
But I forgot to tell her.
And so, anyway, my mother's preparing her on a loop.
Janet's coming home to visit.
Janet's coming home.
And I walk in the door.
My grandmother's standing there.
My mother's standing there.
And my grandmother goes, who are you?
My mother jumps in and says, that's Janet.
And my grandmother goes, that's not * Janet.
Yeah, girl.
She's like, I'm not the * crazy one here.
Can I have my car keys back?
I'd like to go home now.
And my mother is insistent that I tell her who I am.
And I'm like, she's not going to remember, Mom.
Like, why do you want me to do this?
And she said, will you just please try?
And I said, okay.
I said, Nanny, listen.
I know you're wondering who I am.
She said, yeah.
I said, listen, my name is Ian.
I'm Janet's boyfriend.
She was so excited.
She said, how did you two meet?
And I'm like, *.
I said, in a surgical suite in San Francisco.
Which is true.
It's basically when we met.