[Verse:]
I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah *** in the head
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed
'Til one night he snuck in and said
We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the she'd
Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxbin instead?
After I *** you in the butt, get some head
Bust a nut, get some rest
The next day my mother said "I don't know what the ***'s up with this kid!
The *** won't even eat nothing he's fed
He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead"
"Debbie don't let that ***er get you upset
Go in there, stick a ***in' cigarette to his neck
I bet you he's fakin' it, I bet you
I bet he probably just want's to see how upset you would get
I'll go handle this of course, unless you object"
"Ahh go *** his brains out, if any's left in his head"
[Chorus:]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
[Verse 2:]
"Did you get him?" Naaw, ***er tried to bite my face off
I just got ***in' chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw, bit the ***in' blades off
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong
That mother***er's got nuts like King Kong
Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn
And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants, he took every ***in' thing off
Everything, except his tank top and his training bra
Ain't he raw? Yeah mainiac, that's Shady dog
Man that mother***er's gangsta, ain't he dog
Shady dog, what be going through that ***in' brain of yours
Say no more, what the *** you waitin' for, sing along
[Chorus:]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
[Verse 3:]
Don't you know what felch means? (yeah), well then tell me
Would you rather get felched or do the felching
*** him in the ass, suck the c** out while you're belching
Burp, belch, then go back for a second helping
Can you dig what I'm sayin' man, can you smell me?
I want you to feel me like my step father felt me
*** a little puppy, kick the puppy while he's yelping
"Shady what the *** you saying?" I don't know help me!
What the ***'s happening, I think I'm ***ing melting
"Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well being"
No Dad, I said no, I don't need no help peeing
I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself see
I only get naked when the baby sitter tells me
She showed me a movie like "Nightmare on Elm Street"
But it was X, and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea"
"Well this is called ass rape, and we're shooting the jail scene"
[Chorus:]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No! He's insane!
