I don't necessarily need to be here for this

I'm going to keep the headphones up Motherfucker, I'm awesome, no, you're not, dude, don't lie

I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride

I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by

And I met all my friends online Motherfucker, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl

I'm awesome, there's no voicemail, nobody called

I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy eight-balls

And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall You know my pants sag low, even though

That went out of style like ten years ago

Spose, I got the swagger of a cripple

I got little biceps, getting fatter in the middle And lyrically I'm not the best

Physically the opposite of Randy Moss and yet

So preposterous, feel the awesomeness

The most obnoxious guest up at the sausage-fest Oh yes, the girls are repulsed

So I hide in my hood like I'm joining a cult

I'm as nervous as my cat Ol' Dirty Curtis

All my writtens are bitten and all my verses are purchased Me? I'll never date an actress, got too many back zits

Plus my whole home-aroma is cat piss

Every show I do is poorly promoted

And if you like this it's 'cause my little sister wrote it I'm awesome, no, you're not, dude, don't lie

I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride

I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by

And I met all my friends online Motherfucker, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl

I'm awesome, there's no voicemail, nobody called

I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy eight-balls

And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall, I'm awesome Check it out, I'm from Maine and I don't hunt

(Nope)

And I can't ski, smoke weed but I can't roll blunts

Find me whipped by my wifey, my neck not icy

Eatin' at McDonalds because Subway's pricey And my unibrow's plucked

Just asked my mom if I could borrow ten bucks

She's like, "For what? Blunt wraps and some Heinekens?

You skinny ***, go get a gym membership and vitamins" I'm like, mom, please don't blame it on me

I got my bad habits from you, Dad, and Aunt Steve

My attitude's sour but my futon's sweet

And the hair on my ass, it is Jumanji Suit untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift

Can't tweet up on my twitter 'cause I haven't done ***

Bank account red, body un-groomed

The only good thing about me is I'm off stage soon I'm awesome, no, you're not, dude, don't lie

I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride

I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by

And I met all my friends online Motherfucker, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl

I'm awesome, there's no voicemail, nobody called

I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy eight-balls

And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall, I'm awesome Furthermore, I'm cornier than ethanol, cheesier than provolone

I spent ages eight to ten living in a motor home

With an ego the size of Tim Duncan

Even though I got *** for brains like a blumpkin I'm twenty-four serving lobster rolls

Because I spent a decade filling Optimals

And I'm not even the bomb in Maine

On my game, I'm only about as sexy as John McCain Now put your hands up if you have nightmares

If you wouldn't man-up if there was a fight here

If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer

I'm out of breath I'm awesome, no, you're not, dude, don't lie

I'm awesome, I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride

I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by

And I met all my friends online Motherfucker, I'm awesome, I will run away from a brawl

I'm awesome, there's no voicemail, nobody called

I'm awesome, I can't afford to buy eight-balls

And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall I'm awesome