I'm a Married Man
Well, my wife, she sure looked pretty in her wedding gown
Well, you ought to see that gal when the morning rolls around
And every day for breakfast, I get coffee and burnt-up toast
I done lost so much weight, I look just like a ghost
I got bills by the score, I just came makin' smith
And then comes the powder of tiny little feet
And then comes the powder of tiny little feet

And my budget is so doggone tight, you can hear it squeak
And then my mother-in-law, she come to stay a six-month week
I came in the other morning about a half-past three
That gal was a-sittin' on the porch, a-waitin' up for me
I said, wait a minute, honey, and I'll explain to you
And before that gal got on with me, both my eyes were blue
And I said, wait a minute, honey, and I'll explain to you

Now you might think that married life ain't nothin' but one big fight
Just think you get to rock the young'uns in the middle of the night
And then you get to see your brother-in-law in jail
But that's no fun, cause you're the one who has to go his bail
I'm a married man
You don't think I've always looked this way
I'm a married man
That's why I don't have too much to say
When I open my mouth, my wife starts to squawk
I ain't spoken so long, I forgot how to talk
Yes, yes, yes, I'm a married man