["If I Had a Million Dollars"] If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd buy you a house I would buy you a house If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd buy you furniture for your house A nice Chesterfield and Audubon If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd buy you a K-Car A nice Reliant Audible deal If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love If I had a million dollars We'd build a tree fort in the yard If I had a million dollars You could help build me that heart If I had a million dollars We could put a tiny little fridge in there You know, for any kids in the house, I like to give tips for kids, because that's the kind of guy I am. If you're ever playing hide-and-seek, a thrown-out refrigerator makes a great hiding spot. That's terrible. Don't listen to me, kids. I'm just being silly. But you know what's fun? Matches. Firecrackers. Matches are a blast. Like Wu-Tang, fair-naked ladies are also for the children. It's a calling. I just answer. If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd buy you a fur coat but not a real fur coat. That's cruel. If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd buy you an exotic pet like a lemon or an ewe. If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd buy you John Merrick's remains all those crazy elephant bones. If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love. If I had a million dollars We wouldn't have to walk to the store. If I had a million dollars We'd take a little drink to check our score. If I had a million dollars We wouldn't have to eat crab dinner. But we would! Folks, I'm looking forward to tonight because after the show I brought a whole bunch of scaffolding and I'm going to set it up on the side here and I'm going to tag all these rocks. I've got mountains of spray paint downstairs and I'm just going to go up there and write things like Clutch. Then I'm going to go over there and I'm going to write Denver Styles. Then I'll figure out what the area code is and I'll write that and write like Yeah! Stuff like that. But you won't be able to read it. It's going to be amazing. You wait. Next time you come to Red Rocks, it's going to say widespread panic with an X up there because that's what I'm going to write. Folks, would you sing along with us one more time? Did you do that for me? Here we go. Just repeat after me. If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd buy you a green dress But not a real green dress That's wrong If I had a million Sing it! If I had a million dollars I'd buy you a solar planter A gas support I got a lot of humans If I had a million dollars Come on! If I had a million dollars I'd buy you a monkey I'd make you all try to run If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love Come on! If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd be rich Who can it be now? Who can it be now? Who can it be now? Thank you. Yeah!