I wish I was a cat, sitting on a rug. Pretty girls would come and pick me up, and give me a great big hug.
They'd tickle my ears and stroke me, and pat me on the head.
And all those wonderful things I'd see, sleeping at the bottom of the bed.
Well, I wish I was. Well, I wish I could be. Well, I wish I was anyone. Somebody else, not me.
I wish I was a mirror, on that Mormon lady's bedroom wall.
All those mookie things I've only read about in mookie books, I would see them all.
She'd walk around in a negligee, and a flimsy little...
And when she took that nightie off, oh gosh, good lord almighty.
Well, I wish I was. Well, I wish I could be. Well, I wish I was anyone. Somebody else, not me.
I wish I was a brassiere, I'd spend my lifetime thrust.
Right up a lady's jumper.
On a lady's bus.
I would be a hold-up man, just like Butch Cassidy.
An over-the-shoulder, boulder holder, brassier's life for me.
Well, I wish I was. Well, I wish I could be. Well, I wish I was anyone. Somebody else, not me.
Yeah, la, la, like that.
I wish I was the seat upon.
A big, fat lady's bike.
Hold it, this is the engineer. I'm not gonna record anymore. This stuff is filthy.
Filthy.