The world today seems absolutely crackers

With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high

There's fools and idiots sittin' on the trigger

It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why I like Chinese, I like Chinese

They only come up to your knees

Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please I like Chinese, I like Chinese

There's nine hundred million of them in the world today

You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say I like Chinese, I like Chinese

They come from a long way overseas

But they're cute and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please I like Chinese food, the waiters never are rude

Think of the many things they've done to impress

There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and chess So I like Chinese, I like Chinese

I like their tiny little trees

Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-ese I like Chinese thought, the wisdom that Confucius taught

If Darwin is anything to shout about

The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt So, I like Chinese, I like Chinese

They only come up to your knees

Yet they're wise and they're witty and they're ready to please

All together Wo ai zhongguo ren, wo ai zhongguo ren

Wo ai zhongguo ren

Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien I like Chinese, I like Chinese

Their food is guaranteed to please

A fourteen, a seven, a nine and lychees I like Chinese, I like Chinese

I like their tiny little trees

Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-ese I like Chinese, I like Chinese

They only come up to your knees