There's a princess in a tower, oh my gosh, that's just like me. Poor Rapunzel needs a haircut, but the witch won't set her free. She passes time by singing like someone else I know. As years go by, she sits and waits, as years go by, uh-oh, a torturous existence. I don't remember this part. She wishes she were dead, skip ahead, skip ahead, but in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire. The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair, so I know he'll appear. Cause there are rules and there are strictures, I believe the storybooks I read by Candlelight, my White Knight, and his steed, will look just like these pictures. It won't be long now, I guarantee. Day number 23, I know it's today, I know it's today. Oh here's a good one, it's a classic. There's a princess in a coma, glad it's her instead of me. A pretty maiden in a glass box, how I wonder does she pee? Blah blah blah blah, poison apple, boring boring, evil queen. Filler filler, been there, read that, seven shorties on the scene. Skip ahead, skip ahead, but in the end the princess wakes up with a start. The prince is good at kissing and melting Snow White's heart, so I know he'll appear. And his armor will be blinding, as shining as his perfect teeth and manly hose. He'll propose on one knee, and our prenup will be binding, about time we set a wedding date. Day number 958, I know it's today, he'll show up today. There's a princess, any princess, take your pick, they're all like me. Not exactly, I'm still waiting, they're out living happily. Ever after, better get here, I want love in seconds flat. No one needs these middle bits. Whoops, did I do that? Cut the villains, cut the vamping, cut this fairy tale. Cut the peril and the pitfalls, cut the puppet and the whale. Cut the monsters, cut the curses, keep the intro, cut the verses. And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting! But I know he'll appear, though I seem a bit bipolar. And I'm a vandal now as well, hope he won't mind. I'm a find, I'm a catch, and a very gifted bowler. It won't be long now, I guarantee. Day number, are you there, God? It's me, Fiona. It's me, Fiona! Now I know he'll appear, cause there are rules and there are strictures. I believe the storybooks I read, my candlelight, my white knight. My knight and his steed will look just like these pictures. It won't be long now, I guarantee. Day number twenty-three, day number nine fifty-eight, day number eight thousand four hundred and twenty-three. I know it's today, I know it's, I know it's today, I know it's, I know it's today. I know it's today!