Ladies and gentlemen, here's Tom T. Hall.
All right!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
I can't drink
because when I drink, I break out.
Windows and doors and whatever's about.
I can't drink.
When I drink,
I go running amok.
I caught one last week.
Hey, they're not good to eat.
Oh, what the hell, I can't drink.
I got buddies galore who can go to the store
and ain't buy that old stuff by the case.
And just like a chicken,
though he may get fat,
it never shows up in his face, it does
mine.
I can't drink.
I get rich and good looking and I sing.
I look like a kite after you cut
the string.
I can't drink when I'm sober.
I hate telephones.
Ah, but give me two toddies.
I call anybody.
Oh, what the hell,
I can't drink.
I
was in an earthquake.
It was all a mistake.
I came to and beeped through a crack.
I looked at the wreckage and I said to myself,
oh,
have I got to pay for all that?
I can't drink
because when I do, I break out.
Windows and doors and whatever's about.
I can't drink.
When I drink,
I go running amok.
Yeah, I caught one last week.
Hey,
they're not good to eat.
Oh, what the hell,
I can't drink.
Hey,
look bartender,
he didn't say he didn't drink,
he said he can.
No one ever explained it to me like that.