It's like I went school where Harry did Cause I was fighting off Bacillus And I don't know happy or happiness But I know life was on the landing list Might sound mad but I'm glad I don't have a kid Cause five years without their dad's just sad when I imagine it Thinking bout my girl and how she's managing Like is she handling, handling or planning on vanishing I've sat in there for ages More money plans but less rehabilitated They want us to enhance but we're standardly on basic This is real life I can't fake it I was thinking bout my ex and how I hurt her I hate it Think about my new one I can't put her through that same *** I was thinking bout my sisters and my brother I can take it Then I think about my nephew then that pain hits Trying to get it early like a day shift Cause Zed's got stepped on Now I'm stepping on the rap game with the same kits Ever thought *** this I hate this Stared at two packs and just wished on some changes Like a house rolled forward with no neighbours And a car rolled fast for them haters My mum broke down when she saw me in them papers Sorry for them tears I wrote down with your faces Sorry for them years that your son weren't there I know more times it's raining when the sun ain't there So I understand kind I don't think I don't care I ain't got a rock designer to know what I'm unclear I gotta fight my fears I use knives in pairs So don't grind my gears And I never had a dad to show me shave no way So I'm glad I got a girl slow beard Word I remember darks and evil saying nah man You can blow if you put your heart and soul in this heart fam I said yeah but it's hard when Past is all scarred and your future's all darkened I think I broke my mum's heart when she found it in the garden Jailhouse, no tool, had me swinging like I'm Tarzan I remember school, just thought stats passing Zeds had it in his locker, had mine upon my person Can't lie though it hurt when my ex saw that nerd when I was stuck on default just cursing But you're my new one, perfect Look at her, she perfect Five years with no puss Got me feeling like a virgin All my wood still working Lifestyle a burden Stuck in the middle like a gherkin And ain't no water under the bridge Just some blood and tears I thought I'd get used to this after a couple years But I'm tired, I'm tired like I lived a thousand years I'm flying, I'm high, these drugs I take, take the fear Cause if I'm sober then it's over, I can't fight my tears And yeah I'm older but I got colder after every year Cause they said they love me but they went and hurt me I was 19, my license finished when I'm touching 30 Waiting for some better days Even when I'm out, I ain't free So let's not celebrate It was ***ing hard on my sentence day Plus I know it's Dicky trying to sell a tape They said they want some pain but they just can't relate They said they want some pain but they just can't relate My n***a lied to his girl said he had extra days Cause he don't know if he'll make bail with that in me case They said they want some pain but they just can't relate They said they want some pain but they just can't relate And it's like I went to school where Harry did Cause I was fighting off Bacillus And I don't know happy or happiness But I know life is on the landing list And I don't know happy or happiness But I know life is on the landing list