See lately I've been trying to find the fire that I used to have
But the harder I try, the quicker it fades
I see the light as it flickers, my minutes ticking away
My boat is sinking, I'm overthinking
But hey, I'm just reaching for my lifeline
Searching for my happiness
I remember rapping as a teen
I was the happiest I'd ever been
Due to the fact that I could *** a pad and pen
And vent about all the * I was seeing
But now it's like I'm looking through my broken lens
And now I've lost my passion, I've got no defence
The one thing that always had my back
Has got me on my back and acting like a brat
I'm even jealous of my closest friends
I listen to complete
And feel the need to compete
Cause I get envious and wish I was as good as him
It's not a secret and I admit that it's sweet
But all I see is emptiness when I take a second and look within
I'm in a hole and I need to be helped out
I'm just being honest even though this *'s embarrassing
Everything on hold till I'm free of the self-doubt
My confidence is shattered by the trap of a comparison
And now I'm losing sleep
I refuse to eat
Guess I'm doing to myself what I used to do to beats
I'm that abusive
And I'm so used to the heat
That I choose to live in hell
And I'm too reclusive for you to reach
Can't help but feel like I'm lost off track and held down
Can't help but feel like I've lost my map, I melt down
Can't help but feel like I'm on my back in the twelfth round
Can't help but feel like I'm lost off track and held down
Can't help but feel like I'm lost off track and held down
Can't help but feel like I'm lost off track and held down
And I need to be healed
And this is what you get when you mix slight depression with the type of weapon that I
have in my possession
And this is my confession
All my shame exposed
I see people change nature like they're changing clothes
But I guess it's just the way it goes
When the people that you used to be around became just like you are doing today
To say we're bros turned to strangers
I don't hate them though
I've got bigger fish to fry
I've got bitterness that sits inside of me
I'm trying to kiss goodbye
I see the pain that's in my sister's eyes
And I get hypnotized
When the tears that she cries crystallize
And this is why I keep my distance
Cause I leave an imprint
Whether negative or positive
The problem is that I don't see the difference
I need help but I don't seek assistance
So all I need is resistance
I kinda like it when I'm by myself
I sit in silence when I'm by myself
Yeah, won't need your guidance when I find myself
Nah, see I was blinded by a diamond belt
But now I see it clearly
Never fearful, never walking weary
I'm severely tortured by thoughts that are more than scary
And I was always cornered by thoughts that are more than eerie
Too late for yours sincerely
I hope that y'all can hear me
Can't help but feel like I'm lost off track and held down
Can't help but feel like I've lost my map
I melt down
Can't help but feel like I'm on my back in the 12th round
Can't help but feel like I'm lost off track and held down