Once there was this kid who

Took a trip to Singapore

And brought along his spraypaint

And when he finally came back

He had cane marks all over his bottom He said that it was from when

The warden whacked it so hard

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm Once there was this girl who

Swore that one day she would be

A figure skating champion

And when she finally made it

She saw some other girl who was better So she hired some guy

To club her in the knee cap

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm They got paid for their sound-bites

And sold their TV movie rights And then there was this guy who

Made his wife so mad one night

That she cut off his weiner

And when he finally came to

He found that little Mr. Happy was missing He couldn't quite explain

It had always just been there

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm