I want to tell you all a story about a Hopper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Hopper Valley Junior High
Well, her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
And she said, Mom, I got a note here from the Hopper Valley PTA
Well, the note said, Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dress is way too high
It's reported you've been drinking and running around with men and going wild
And we don't believe you ought to be bringing up your little girl this way
And it was signed by the Secretary Hopper Valley PTA
Well, it happened that PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard, I can still recall the words she had to say
She said, I'd like to address this meeting of the Hopper Valley PTA
Well, there's Bobby Taylor sitting there and seven times he's asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he's away
And, Mr. Baker, can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't Whitta Jones be told to keep her when the shades all pull completely down?
Well, Mr. Hopper couldn't be here cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath, you'll find she's had a little nip of gin
And then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as the mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little patent place and you're all Hopper Valley hypocrites
No, I wouldn't put you on because it really did, it happened just this way
That day my mama socked it to the Hopper Valley PTA
That day my mama socked it to the Hopper Valley PTA