I want to tell you all a storyAbout a Harper Valley widow wifeWho had a teenage daughterWho attended Harper Valley Junior HighWell, her daughter came home one afternoonAnd didn't even start to playAnd she said, Mom, I got a noteYou're from the Harper Valley PTAWell, the note said, Mrs. JohnsonYou're wearing your dress is way too highAnd it's reported you've been drinkingAnd running around one minute and going wildAnd it's reported you've been drinkingAnd we don't believe you ought to beBringing up your little girl this wayAnd it was signed by the secretaryHarper Valley PTAWell, it happened that the PTAWas going to meet the very afternoonAnd they were sure surprisedWhen Mrs. Johnson wore a mini skirtInto the roomAnd as she walked up to the blackboardI still recall the words she had to sayShe said, I'd like to addressThis meeting of the Harper Valley PTAWell, there's Bobby Taylor sitting thereAnd seven times he's asked me for itOn a dateAnd Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of iceWhenever he's awayAnd Mr. Baker, won't you tell usWhy your secretary had to leave this townAnd shouldn't Widow Jones be told to keep her window shadesOn pool completely downWell, Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of iceAnd Mr. Harper couldn't be hereCause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar againAnd if you smell Shirley Thompson's breathYou'll find she's had a little nip of ginAnd then you'll have the nerve to tell meThat you think that as a mother I'm not fitWell, this is just a little paid-in placeAnd you're a Harper Valley PTAHypocritesNo, I wouldn't put you onBecause it really didIt happen just this wayThe day my mama sucked it toThe Harper Valley PTAThe day my mama sucked it toThe Harper Valley PTAThe Harper Valley PTA