I want to tell you all a story about a Hopper Valley widowed wife
who had a teenage daughter who attended Hopper Valley Junior High.
Well, her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play.
She said, Mom, I got a note here from the Hopper Valley PDA.
Well, the note said, Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dresses way too high.
And it's reported you've been drinking every night.
And running around with men and going wild.
And we don't believe you ought to be bringing up your little girl this way.
And it was signed by the secretary, Hopper Valley PDA.
Well, it happened that the PDA was going to meet that very afternoon.
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini skirt into the room.
And as she walked up to the blackboard, I still recall the words she had to say.
She said, I'd like to address this meeting of the Hopper Valley PDA.
Well, there's Bobby Taylor sitting there and seven times he's asked me for a date.
Well, first of all, it's not very difficult, after all.
What didn't you say were the last words sir?
Oh, I do find Eric out a little too small, just fine.
And I was assigned to do only a bicycle ride all of last night.
Well, what do you think I ought to do to get all the sleep?
My amoebas are just trying not to make me seem like a person.

Well, you haven't got any here.
Well, of course you don't.
Too long at Kelly's bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin
And yet you've got the nerve to tell me
As a mother that you think that I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little pagan place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites
No, I wouldn't put it on you
Cause it happened, yeah, it happened just this way
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA