Have a happy * Christmas and a * great new yearIt's baby Jesus' birthday and that's not why we're hereWe came for Christmas pudding and a cup of Christmas teaTo have a happy * Christmas and a * great new yearI've put the * tree up and I've covered it with lightI've 13 * relatives arriving here tonightMy sister is still fuming from some imagined slightBut it wouldn't be a Christmas day without a * fightHave a happy * Christmas and a * great new yearIt's baby Jesus' birthday and that's not why we're hereWe came for Christmas pudding and a cup of Christmas teaTo have a happy * ChristmasAnd a * great new yearHave a happy * Christmas and a * great new yearI've peeled the * taters and the * parsnips tooThere's pigs in blankets, turkey beef, enough for 22There's so much food I'll have to take a break when I've weighed throughAnd make some room for pudding with a cheeky half-dive pooHave a happy * Christmas and a * great new yearIt's baby Jesus' birthday and that's not why we're hereWe came for Christmas pudding and a cup of Christmas teaTo have a happy * Christmas and a * great new yearThe kids are * hyper, they wouldn't go to bedThey're running round like lunatics, they're doing it in my headIf they're not * careful, I say Santa Christ is asleepWe're living up in A&E and now he's * deadHo ho!Have a happy * ChristmasAnd a * great new yearIt's baby Jesus' birthdayBut that's not why we're hereWe came for Christmas, wouldn't we?And a cup of Christmas cheerSo have a happy * ChristmasHave a happy * ChristmasHave a happy * ChristmasAnd a * great new yearHave a happy Christmas, I guess