[CHARLIE]
I can do this, somehow I know it
I'll get Heaven behind my plans

[VAGGIE, spoken]
Charlie, hold on

[CHARLIE]
There's just no way I could blow it
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance

[VAGGIE, spoken]
It's just a meeting

[CHARLIE]
To change their mind and touch their hearts
Or whatever angels have

[VAGGIE, spoken]
This could be bad

[CHARLIE, spoken]
Cheer up, Vaggie
(sung)
This could be swell
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell

[VAGGIE, spoken]
Okay, but just don't... sing to them

[ANGEL DUST, spoken]
That bitch is halfway down the street

[VAGGIE, spoken]
Is she—

[ANGEL DUST, spoken]
Oh, she's dancin'

[VAGGIE, spoken]
Ugh, no

[CHARLIE]
There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air
Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so appealing, it bеats anywhere
If you don't mind the smеll
It's a happy day in Hell

[CHARLIE, spoken]
Hi, mister

[DEMON, spoken]
***
[SINNER]
There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul

[CHARLIE, spoken]
Hello!

[IMP]
Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole

[CHARLIE, spoken]
Ah, 'scuse me

[EXECUTIONER]
Doing what is required, we all have our role

[SINNER]
I'm not doin' well

[DEMONS]
Another ***ty day in Hell

[CHARLIE]
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change

[VAGGIE]
Those angels' minds are hard to change
[CHARLIE]
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
From the evil to the strange

[VAGGIE]
They're bloodthirsty and deranged

[CHARLIE]
I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel
It'll be a happy day in Hell

[CHARLIE]
From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows
To the Cannibal Town, where they don't wear a frown
'Cause holy ***, oh my gosh, why?
And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye
'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide

[CHARLIE, DEMONS, IMP (spoken)]
I can do this, I just know it
(There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul)
I'll get Heaven behind my plans (Ah-ah)
There's just no way I could blow it
(I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole; Perv)
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance (Ahh)
To change their minds—

[TRENCH COAT DEMON, spoken]
And touch my parts

[CHARLIE, spoken]
Uh, no thank you, I'm just gonna

[CHARLIE, DEMONS]
Fulfill my destiny (Ah-ah)

[TRENCH COAT DEMON, spoken]
Your loss, bitch

[CHARLIE]
I can already tell
Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in Hell