Now I'm just an old hillbilly boy
I ain't no city slicker
My interests is incest, bestiality, and liquor
I live on grits and catfish
That muck around in the fountains
And I'm just a *-* country boy
And I * around in the mountains
But I've been down in Georgia
I've been in Caroline
I've been in both their sisters
And the hole in the lonesome pine
Been in and out of Charlotte
And her husband's after me
But halfway up Virginia
Is where I wanna be, yeah
Halfway up Virginia
Is where I wanna be
Now I've got fifty sweethearts
They think that I'm a star
One of them says, oh baby
And the rest of them
Say bar
You can't depend on a four-legged friend
And when I go out bonking
I dress that sheep in a gingham gown
And take her honky-tonking
Two to the left, two to the right
Hooves together and do-si-do
I needn't buy no new fur coat
Cause she's got one that's curly
Just a jug or two of Mountain Dew
And turnips for my girly
I've stuffed my tool in a Georgia mule
But I give them cows a miss
Cause she feels that you could
Rush around to the front when you want to
Give them a kiss
But I've been in Alberta
I've been chasing beaver
Had a pokey in my skokie
With a three-legged golden retriever
I've been through Mississippi
And her husband's after me
But halfway up Virginia
Is where I wanna be, yeah
Halfway up Virginia
Is where I wanna be
Had a bunk up with a skunk up
Who wear the bluegrass plumes
Had a good * from a woodchuck
And polecats and raccoons
A hound dog and a groundhog
A possum up a tree
And everything but bleats and barks
And can't run faster than me
Yahoo!
They're playing my tune
Now down the creek lives Lulu Bell
She's a virgin and I believe her
But if she ain't good enough for her own kinfolk
She ain't good enough for me neither
I've had all critters, great men, great women
Small in the hills of Tennessee
And every last one is female
Cause there ain't nothing strange about me
And I've yodeled down the canyon
On both sides of Caroline
And I'll go var again someday
If her brother doesn't mind
I've messed around in Buffalo
From sea to shining sea
But halfway up Virginia
Is where I wanna be, yeah
Halfway up Virginia
Is where I wanna be, yeah


Halfway up Virginia
Is where I wanna be
Yod-a-lee, hodl-a-lee, hodl-a-lee
Here, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy
Here, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy