Mother, father, I'm here in the zoo
I can't come home 'cause I've grown up too soon
I got my sentence, I got my command
They said, they'd make me major if I met all their demands I could be a corporal into corporal punishment
Or the general manager of a large establishment
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they'd put me in the Goon squad, they've come to look you over
And they're giving you the eye
Goon squad, they want you to come out to play
You'd better say goodbye Some grow just like their dads, and some grow up too tall
Some go drinking with the lads, some don't grow at all
And you must find the proper place for everything you see
But you'll never get to make a lampshade out of me I could join a chain of males or be the missing link
Looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they'd put me in the Goon squad, they've come to look you over
And they're giving you the eye
Goon squad, they want you to come out to play
You'd better say goodbye Mother, father, I'm doing so well
I'm making such progress now that you can hardly tell
I fit in a little dedication with one eye on the clock
They caught you under medication, you could be in for a shock Thinking up the alibis that everyone's forgotten
Just another mummy's boy gone to rotten
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they'd put me in the Goon squad, they've come to look you over
And they're giving you the eye
Goon squad, they want you to come out to play
You'd better say goodbye