Mary Ann and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4H club
Both active in the ffa
After graduation Mary Ann went out lookin' for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town and all she found was Earl

Well it wasn't two weeks after she got married that
Wanda started gettin' abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeve blouses
And make-up to cover a bruise
Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Ann flew in from Atlanta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand and they worked out a plan
And it didn't take them long to decide

That Earl had to die
Goodbye, Earl
Those black-eyed peas,
They tasted alright to me, Earl
You feelin' weak?
Why don't you lay down and sleep
Earl, ain't it dark
Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl

The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house high and low
Then they tipped their hats and said 'thank
You ladies if you hear from him let us know'

Well the weeks went by and
Spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing
Person who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand
Out on highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam
And they don't lose any sleep at night 'cause

Earl had to die
Goodnight, Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake, Earl
We'll pack a lunch
And stuff you in the trunk, Earl
Well is that all right
Good, let's go for a ride
Earl hey
Well hey, hey, hey
Aw, hey, hey, hey
Well, hey, hey, hey