who does she think she is that girl has tangled with the wrong man no one says no to Gaston done right dismissed rejected publicly humiliated why it's more than I can bear more beer what for nothing helps I'm disgraced you never Gaston you've got to pull yourself together gosh it disturbs me to see Gaston looking so down in the dumps every guy here'd love to be you Gaston even when taking your lumps there's no man in town as admired as you you're everyone's favorite guy everyone's odd and inspired by you and it's not very hard to see why no one's slick as Gaston no one's quick as Gaston no one's next as incredibly thick as Gaston for there's no man in town half as manly perfect a pure paragon you can ask any Tom Dick or Stanley and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on no one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston as a specimen yes I'm intimidating Gaston is the best and the rest is all to rips in a wrestling match nobody fights like Gaston as you see I've got biceps to spare not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny that's right and every last inch of me is covered with hair in a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston I'm especially good at expecto rating when I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large and now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs so I'm roughly the size of a barge like Gaston makes those boots like Gaston then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston I use antlers in all of my decorating and his name's G-A-S-T G-A-S-T-E G-A-S-T-O you